TRUE STORY – Ladies get the tissues……..


This is MY STORY                                        

The names have been changed.


My name is Eleanor, and this is my story.  As a young woman I travelled extensively as I was an airhostess.  I lived life to the full and I can honestly say I was very selfish. In my later years I met and married Frank, who was the most charming gentleman I had ever met. We lived happily together for a good few years.  Frank had a Jack Russell when I met him EDDY and even to this day I feel so guilty, I was not at all nice to Eddy, if Frank was out of earshot I chased the dog out of the house.

Frank was offered a position where he had to travel overseas periodically and in those months I started suffering with severe depression. Poor Eddy was treated more than badly by me and now today,  I am ashamed of my behavior towards that dog.  I would chase him from the house, banish him outside. He actually was a dear little dog, but for whatever reason I saw him as an enemy. Frank began to travel more and more and I sunk into more and more of a depression.  I needed something to take my mind of myself and off of poor Eddy who was taking the brunt of my depression.  Frank would return home briefly and could not work out why Eddy was so submissive and very scared - he never ever realised it was my doing. He knew I did not particularly care for Eddy but did not think for one minute I was the reason for Eddy’s misery.

One night out of the blue Frank called from London to say he was not feeling well,had seen a Doctor that day and that they wanted to run some tests.   Later that week I would learn that the love of my life, had a very short time to live. He had been given 3 – 4 months to live.  Frank returned home and we made every effort to do what we had always planned to do, in the future, in those last few months. Eddy had no life, we were hardly at home. The neighbour dropped in daily to feed and water him.  Frank and I travelled, to his sister, and then his brother, and his distant relations. I only had a sister who lived down the road from us, but we never saw each other or even exchanged pleasantries. 

On our last trip Frank grew very exhausted and said he felt he needed to slow down.  Eddy was once again very much in Frank’s life, and the dog sensed all was not well with his Master.  He lay night and day alongside the bed or chair where Frank was.  I heard Frank say to Eddy one day that he was just like his Master, not long for this world.  I had not noticed but Eddy looked awful, he had become a really old dog overnight.  A while before Frank passed on, Eddy breathed his last. Frank was really upset, and nothing I said or did improved this situation.  He kept on and on how Eddy had been his dog and he had been away so much, and Eddy had been neglected. This really made me feel bad, because if Frank only knew how Eddy had been treated, I doubt whether he would have ever spoken to me again. Frank was never the same after Eddy died, the smile that was always on his face was gone, he would look around and realise there was no dog, no doting dog that lived to hear his Masters voice. Not a day went by but Frank would yearn for Eddy and at times I wondered if Eddy was more important than I was.

A month later Frank passed away, peacefully in his sleep. The illness had taken its toll and it was evident how he had suffered although never complained, his only concern ever was for EDDY.

We had had no children, Frank’s family were a long distance from where I lived, and I was not in the habit of visiting or writing or phoning. My sister although just down the road, was someone I never spoke to. Life was empty – no husband no nothing and no EDDY.

My depression went from bad to worse, and I frequented the Doctor on numerous occasions, I was on medication and referred to a support group.  One day at the weekly meeting, a member of the group came up and told me how I should get a dog – how different her life was since getting her dog.  Eddy came rushing back into my thoughts and I wanted to scream out “NO, definitely not.”  The same Lady invited me for tea a few days later, and I gingerly went along, fearing meeting the new EDDY in her life. I was totally amazed when she opened the door and there sat the sweetest little dog.  I was invited in, and Linda made me tea and brought the cake, all this time, I watched as this little dog ran after her and never left her side. I thought how different to Eddy.  This little dog was Linda’s constant companion, slept on the bed, went to the shops, went but everywhere and even went with her to the coast to visit her daughter in the holidays.

She said I should consider getting a little yorkie – I kept thinking a little EDDY, NO.  She arranged for me to go with her to meet the breeder of her little dog.  I could then see if a pup liked me, or if I liked a pup.

We made the meeting for two weeks down the line. I had to think this over. It had to be the right decision.  The day arrived and I was full of apprehension, thought more than a thousand times I should cancel.  I did not need another EDDY in my life. I had been downright cruel, and had to live with that the rest of my life, but did not need to risk disliking another dog. I drove up and out came Linda with her little yorkie in tow. Pink ribbon in the hair the works.  I have always been a well manicured woman and very fashion conscious, but I had never thought of dollying up a dog.  Linda jumped in and off we went. The breeder was a good distance away and Linda and her yorkie sat beside me.

We arrived at the Breeder and the door was opened by a rather stern looking woman, elderly.  Not particularly friendly. Invited us in and told us to take a seat. She closed the door and came and sat down with us.  She asked Linda how it was working out with her little yorkie and Linda went into detail how she did this and that, and how lovely this and that was. I just sat there, and eyed out the situation.  The breeder then turned her attention to me, asking if I was interested in seeing pups or not.  I was quite taken aback, no fancy sweet talk, straight to the point. I hesitated and then said “YES PLEASE”…. That even surprised me,  I was inviting another EDDY into my life. 

The breeder vanished for a good few minutes and arrived with two baskets of pups. One lot very dainty and petite and very appealing to the eye. The other lot quite a bit bigger, and more aloof.  I spotted one I was drawn to, but strangely enough the breeder said let the pup choose you. The pups were all put out on the carpet and I cautiously sat down on the carpet, to see what would happen. The one I was keen on turned her back on me and walked off, one of the more aloof one’s came my way. I thought – another EDDY.  The aloof one clambered up onto my knee. The breeder commented well that is your pup if you want her. It’s a her? I asked. YES.  The breeder had also named her pups and this one was Tabatha.  I took Tabatha home although I would have loved the other little girl I originally spotted. Tabatha is very different to Linda’s yorkie. Does not have that NEED to feel the one and only – is definitely more aloof. She decides when she will give me a moment of her time, she decides whether she will sleep on the bed or in her bed. It is always about Tabatha, I have no say. If I call, Tabatha will come,  but she decides how close, I almost feel like she is teaching me a lesson. A lesson that Eddy learnt that when Dad was around, Eddy was top dog, when Dad was not around, Eddy was a nobody dog. I still cringe with guilt thinking of how I treated Eddy and if I could I would ask his forgiveness. If he could come back just for a month, a week I would treat him as he deserved to be treated.

Needless to say since Tabatha arrived I have no need to frequent the weekly support group. Tabatha is all the support I need. My life is fulfilled, I have started seeing my sister, who thinks Tabatha is out of this world, and Tabatha thinks she is wonderful as well. Tabatha’s thoughts on her owner?  I can’t quite sum that up. Linda agrees she is very different than her yorkie. When my sister Jan, visits I see a totally different Tabatha. Will she change in the way she behaves towards me? Should I try and change? Time will tell. Tabatha  is now 18 months old and a lot of water has gone under the bridge. I am now going to dog classes with Tabatha, not to teach her but to teach me, how I can interact with her, on her level. How I can make her feel wanted, because without her, I fear I would need those weekly get togethers from the support group. I think what I am trying to say, I need to have the relationship my Frank had with his Eddy. I hope I can achieve that. At this stage in my life, I would give anything to have an Eddy in my life, like my Frank had in his, hopefully Tabatha and I will get there one day.